Mobile Madness

If you've seen my Twitter feed or Facebook page, you'll know I'm not a fan of those who chose to use their mobile phone for either making calls or texting whilst driving.  Today whilst out and about in Harrogate I saw new levels of this behaviour and the thing is that it seems to be getting worse.  This is ironic really as the fines for those caught using their phones whilst driving have recently increased from £60 to £90 as well as landing the guilty party with 3 penalty points.  The worst offenders seem to be the drivers of large 4x4s who are willing to shell out £60,000 on a vehicle but are either to thrifty to shell out on a hands-free device, or are to stupid to understand how such a device works.




In legal terms, the illegality of using your phone is spelled out in Rule 149 of that long-forgotten publication, The Highway Code.  It states "you MUST exercise proper control of your vehicle at all times. You MUST NOT use a hand-held mobile phone, or similar device, when driving or when supervising a learner driver, except to call 999 in a genuine emergency when it is unsafe or impractical to stop. Never use a hand-held microphone when driving. Using hands-free equipment is also likely to distract your attention from the road. It is far safer not to use any telephone while you are driving or riding - find a safe place to stop first or use the voicemail facility and listen to messages later".   Now I didn't make this up and in fact it forms part of the Road Traffic Act of 1988 which is what you'd be prosecuted against if caught.




The first mystery for me is why so many people think this law doesn't apply to them.  The worst offenders are probably nice respectable people who would never drop litter or piss in the street yet somehow for them, using their phones whilst driving is acceptable.  It makes perfect sense to me - if you are in charge of a ton of metal, i.e. a car, surely you'd want to be in full control of that without any distractions?  There are now an increasing number of collisions and injuries to pedestrians caused by the use of mobiles being used when driving yet the usage continues unabated.




The second thing that I find odd is what are these people talking/texting about?  How important must these conversations and messages be that they are prepared to risk a £90 fine and 3 points on their licences?  Are these life and death conversations? Or are they just trivial bollocks?  Have we become so immersed in the use of phones that we can't leave them alone for any length of time, including whilst driving?  Is it a sense of self-importance? Whatever the reason it genuinely concerns me that people are prepared to risk prosecution and potentially injure themselves and others just for the sake of some call or message which could probably wait.  Thankfully NY Police are now fairly proactive in prosecuting drivers and long may this continue until the message gets through.  The odd thing is that everyone knows it's wrong and on the several occasions where I've challenged people they've looked very sheepish and guilty and stopped using the device at once.  However, I've also been told to fuck off and mind my own business but as you probably know I love a good debate.




This is not one of my usual light-hearted rants - it is something which I feel really strongly about.  I have been unfortunate enough to witness a fatal road collision and had to give evidence at the ensuing coroner's inquest - I can tell you that the impact road-related deaths have on families is beyond devastating.  Everyone thinks, it's only a few seconds but those few seconds are time enough for a child to run into the road, for the car in front to stop suddenly or the cyclist to pull out in front of you at a junction.  So, next time you feel tempted to pick up that mobile phone whilst behind the wheel or your car/van/truck/mobility scooter or cycle, ask yourself.....is my reason for making this call or sending this text a genuine emergency?  If not, put it down and sing along to the radio instead, take some deep breaths, and ask yourself, what did I do before I had an iphone?  Don't do it people, you know it makes sense.

My Leg has gone blue and dropped off. Am I ill?

Don't people have friends any more?  The popularity of social media, and in particular community-type pages on Facebook has lead to people apparently becoming reliant on asking complete strangers for advice.  Whether they actually take this advice remains to be seen but one Facebook group I was added to recently is monumentally cringeworthy in terms of what is being shared.

I think if I had a problem which was personal or health-related, I would speak to a family member, friend or a doctor.  However, it seems any topic is fair game for open discussion and in the past week or so the questions asked have included abortion, domestic violence, contraception and some specific health issues which in some cases were of a very personal nature.  Some of the questions are beyond shocking and show the sharp decrease in the levels of common sense people appear to have these days.  Do the contributors have no one to turn to in their lives to discuss this stuff with?  Or do they think they will get more balanced views from strangers or Facebook "friends"?

So, once the questions have been asked, the fun starts and the answers flood in by the dozen.  Some are genuine and well-reasoned, others are downright bizarre and then there are others which are either rude, wrong or hilariously sarcastic and facetious.  In some ways, I get the piece about sharing experiences - if someone has been through something and learned from it then this tends to be a positive of such groups.  However, what scares the shit out of me is the propensity to ask health-related questions as happened this week when someone posted a picture of some form of skin rash.  Suddenly everyone on Facebook became a doctor and chipped in with not only a diagnosis, but a suggested cure, and prognosis.  Now, bear in mind the type of questions being asked, and the level of intellect of some of those asking questions, my fear is that these same people are now giving out advice. Medical advice.  And suggesting drugs and medication.  Call me old-fashioned, but don't we have the NHS for this sort of thing?  And there are NHS resources online which can be accessed using the same computer or smartphone the questioners are using to access Facebook.  This being the case, why on earth would people turn to random strangers for medical advice?  There was even a women this week wanting to "borrow" a certain brand of contraceptive pill as she had run out.  I thought everyone knew that taking any form of medication prescribed for anyone other than the intended user was fraught with danger.  Clearly not.

I've almost clicked on the button to leave this particular group but the sad thing is I find it a little addictive and mildly amusing and there are some positives to it in terms of recommendations for local businesses.  At the same time, it is also absolutely terrifying that grown men and women are now so feckless and apparently reliant on social media to get through day-to-day life.  Used properly, I think there is a place for such groups but they have a very dark underbelly which shows that society in 2014 is a bit of a sick puppy.  Does anyone know what's wrong with my puppy? Answers via Facebook please!

The Child Catcher

Children – didn’t someone once say I love them but I couldn’t eat a whole one?

It seems to me that children are increasingly badly behaved and irritating, probably more down to my age than this being reality, but I don’t think there is smoke without fire.  This weekend there were kids everywhere I went – Pizza Express, Wetherspoon’s, Pitcher and Piano and several other licensed premises.  Some of them, in fact the majority, were well behaved and caused no disruption to my enjoyment.  However, some of them were quite simply a bloody nuisance with their running around, screaming and shouting and generally disruptive behaviour.  But is it the child’s fault?  Shouldn’t their parents be controlling them so that they don’t spoil anyone else’s enjoyment?  Eating out in Harrogate is usually a great pleasure as we have a fantastic selection of local restaurants as well as some of the run-of-the-mill chains.  However, a meal out for a family of 4 with drinks and any other extras is usually the wrong end of £100.  So, with this in mind, is it acceptable to have someone else’s rowdy kids impacting your enjoyment as they run amok in the restaurant, making noise, knocking things over and generally being a nuisance?  I put it to you that unless you can get your children to sit quietly and certainly not run around the place screaming then you should leave the little cherubs at home.

Now, this may sound a little harsh, but if the majority of parents can control their children then why can’t everyone?  I’m not expecting them to sit with their arms folded looking miserable for the whole time they are in the pub or restaurant but I certainly don’t expect them to literally run around the place while their gormless parents tuck into another 4 pints of Stella each.  What right do they have to demonstrate so little control over their kids that they spoil almost everyone else’s enjoyment?  Well, I’ll tell you – none at all.  When I was a youngster, children weren’t even allowed in pubs and certainly no children would have been allowed to run around restaurants.  I feel sorry for restaurant owners and managers who are powerless to do anything to stop the appalling behaviour of some children as they fear the repercussions on social media and via face-to-face aggression.  However, their faces say it all as they clearly just want to tell them to fuck off and never come back! If they can read the signs, why can’t the parents of these unruly children read them too?

So how come it seems to be acceptable these days? I’m not up for debating the complex socio-economic background to all this, if in fact there is one, but in my view it is simply a lack of parental discipline or a knee-jerk reaction to strict discipline in the parent’s childhoods that is at the root of this. Or they could just be lazy bastards. You decide.

On Your Bike

Hello there fellow Grump's.

Cycling. It's a healthy, cheap and largely easy way to get around  and Harrogate lends itself pretty well to cycling and it can be as quick as taking the car on most days.  Quite a lot of people cycle around town from kids to commuters to serious cyclist who compete in races and wear the tightest Lycra of all.

I myself am a cyclist and cycle for much-needed exercise and to see the beauty of the countryside surrounding our lovely town.  I should reassure you at this point that I don't possess any Lycra-based cycling clothing - it's not a good look for a fat lad.  When I was 10 years old I passed my cycling proficiency test. Now when you're 10, this is a big deal as at the time the lessons were given by a proper road safety officer from the council and the test was taken in front of the local policeman.  I passed with flying colours and learned the basics of bike maintenance, road safety and the Highway Code and to be honest what I learned hasn't left me.  So, I try to be a good cyclist and a good motorist but when in saddle it's easy to see why cyclists and motorists don't get on.

However, the point of this rant is that a great many cyclists aren't really cyclists.  The people who have proper bikes with brakes and lights and a helmet are proper cyclists.  They ride on the road and follow the Highway Code. It is the others that are the subject of this rant. The non-cyclists, the people on bikes who don't give a shit about rules and regulations or pedestrians or motorists or even their own safety.  These are the people that ride on the footpath - the area designated for pedestrians.  Not only that but when they get to a pedestrian crossing they actually press the button and cross when the light turns green. And they ride the wrong way up one-way streets, and in pedestrianised areas.

What kicked this off was a sight I saw last night at 11pm on Skipton Road which made me so mad.  There he was - knob head biker. He was riding on the footpath, with no lights, no helmet, and.....speaking on his mobile phone.  But he's not alone - he has many knob head accomplices in Harrogate.  They don't think the rules apply to them and they don't give a shit.  However, if they get injured or they injure someone else then they're guaranteed to swear it's not their fault.

And what of these bikes that kids have at present with no brakes?  What are their parents thinking of buying them in the first place, and letting them on the road with them?  They are illegal for Christ's sake - why would you allow your child to ride an illegal bike?

So, there we have it - the Grumpy view of cyclists and the lower form of cycling life, knob head biker.  If you see the latter, do give him a little wave and just check he's sitting the right way round on the saddle

Hotel No Hope

What is it with hotels and their misleading and delusional descriptions of their premises?  This week I went to Plymouth to visit the local depot of the company I work for and wanted to stay somewhere close.  So, using Laterooms.com I booked into this place – the photos made it look good and the reviews showed 86% satisfaction.  So, I booked it and off I went!

And now for the reality.  The hotel’s website promises a “secluded location”. This means it is down a lane in the middle of nowhere, just past a derelict garage.

Arriving, I was pleasantly surprised - the picture is accurate enough – the building itself is lovely and built from natural slate.

However, driving into the car park, the first thing that greets you is a scrap car and a pile of junk – just the job!

So, on to reception and I’m checked in to room 11 up some stairs that creak like they are about to collapse.  In the corridor on the way to the room is this:-

     

The table lamp on the window sill has a trailing cable which is clearly a trip hazard – but why would you want a table lamp on a window sill in a corridor?

Outside the room is a vacuum cleaner – very welcoming!

So, in I go and the first issue is that the door handle is broken although the door does lock with the key.  This is a comfort as I’ve stayed in hotels in Russia where the doors don’t lock!

The room itself is a good size and has a double bed and a set of bunk beds.  The green carpet is horrifically stained and some of the furniture makes Ikea shit look like Chippendale. The dressing table has a panel hanging off it and the veneer has peeled off.

However, it is the stains on the carpet that worry me – thoughts naturally turn to what are they and why are they there?  There are several but the one by the light switch is the worst.  I do have pictures but as there are some squeamish people around I won't post them.  Think big globules of salad cream and you won't be far off. Draw your own conclusions.

In the bathroom, the toilet seat is clearly prison issue and the plumbing work is atrocious.  The radiator piping has been put through some roughly cut holes in the ceiling and the shower installation is seventies style.  Worst of all is all the congealed dust and fluff in the extractor fan – how hard would it have been for the cleaner to give this a quick brush with the vacuum cleaner that’s parked outside the room?

                                 

Back in the bedroom I daren’t even look inside the kettle.  So, I go back and check the website to make sure I’ve got the right place.  The website makes various embellishments of the truth but search as much as you like and there is no mention of any stains on the carpet, trailing extension leads to lights in the corridor and a scrap vehicle in the car park.

It is clear that the management do not inspect the rooms and consider things from the guest’s perspectives. If they do then they clearly don’t look very hard. I’ve no doubt that this place was lovely at one time but it is so far removed from being a habitable and welcoming place that to even call it a hotel is stretching the truth somewhat.

The breakfast was awful and I, yes, even I left most of it as it was bland, greasy and lukewarm. And it took ages to come considering I was the only mug in the place.

The nature of my job means I stay in hotels all over the place, both in the UK and abroad but this is one of the worst to date.  It angers me that shit-holes like this can more or less put what they like on websites, most of which is clearly misleading, and seemingly get away with it.  I know times are hard and that hotels have trouble filling their rooms but most of the stuff I’ve described here could be put right in less than an hour – the management simply need to look at things through the eyes of their guests.  Why you would allow a scrap car in the car park is beyond me and the reception entrance was littered with cigarette ends – all things that could and should be sorted out.

So, if you were thinking of visiting this place, think again.  There is a very nice bus shelter further down the road without any stains.



The Cliche - A Victory for Common Sense

Those of you who know me would probably agree that I'm a few pounds overweight.  In terms of body mass index or what ever it is, I am the optimum weight - for someone 8 feet 9 inches tall.  So, apart from the odd bike-ride (without lycra before you ask), I need some form of exercise.  I've tried gyms and running but find it all very dull and most Harrogate gyms are full of hair-gelled pretty-boys trying to lift more weights than are good for them and women who exercise only until they think they may perspire before running back to the changing room lest anyone sees them sweat.  And it's the devil's own job trying to find a gym that does a good bacon sandwich.

So, a couple of years ago I found a form of exercise that suited me, was fun to do and was beneficial from a health point of view.  There was also a fantastic social side to it and I've made a great many friends as a result of undertaking this form of exercise.  It's called Armed Forces Fitness and is military-style circuit training which uses current and ex-military instructors so they know a thing or two about training, and about motivation.  For me, the motivation part is as important as the actual exercise as basically I'm a lazy bastard who needs a kick when it comes to exercise and the encouragement and driving works for me.  Only last week in the warm-up the words "Huddart, get your belly off the ground" rang out as I tried to skive doing a few press-ups.  Before I started, I could not have run around Harrogate's Stray for an hour doing vigorous exercise but now I can.  I know I'll never be in the top group but I'm not bothered about that, all I want is to be a bit fitter week on week.  Perhaps if I gave up beer and pies this may come a bit easier but I digress.

So, a few weeks ago, I got a call from Jonny Quinn who is the owner of Armed Forces Fitness and he told me that Harrogate Borough Council had contacted him with a view to putting boot camps, as they wrongly named them, out to tender.  This meant that despite setting up a business over the past 3 years and attracting over 250 members, some Council jobs-worth thought, "this seems popular, let's have a slice of money from it".  So, Jonny completed the tender which was a woeful document given that it came from a local authority who use tenders as a major part of their procurement process - there had been no consultation with anyone who used AFF or any of the other fitness groups that operate on The Stray.  His tender was not successful.  The contract, despite Harrogate Borough Council having a "buy local" policy, was awarded to a company in Wetherby, West Yorkshire.

When I heard this news I was livid.  The Council told Jonny that AFF would have to stop running classes on The Stray from 1st May and that the new company, Matt Woods Boot Camps, would take over the rights for "boot camps".  For a start, I quickly established that Matt Woods, who I'm sure is a lovely bloke, had no experience in military fitness and had no military instructors.  His Facebook page had 14 followers as opposed to the 500+ of AFF.  I sent Matt Wood several emails quizzing him about his classes and got some very evasive answers, then he stopped replying.  He had committed himself to a three-year contract with Harrogate Borough Council which was in the region of a total of £24,000.  The basic flaw here of course was that he would have no members, or certainly not from the AFF guys as the training he offered was like a cosy chat over tea and scones compared to the hard-core stuff we are used to from AFF.  So my first question to HBC's chief executive was where was Matt Wood's revenue going to come from?

As well as contacting HBC, I also contacted Andrew Jones, our MP, and Ruby Kitchen from The Harrogate Advertiser.  Ruby immediately asked the question of HBC, as I had done, if they thought their actions were legal first and foremost.  The Stray is owned by the Queen and forms part of the Estate of The Duchy of Lancaster and is managed by Harrogate Borough Council under the terms of an Act or Parliament called The Stray Act 1985 which also has some amended by-laws.  I'm not really sure if Queen Lizzie the Second gives two shits about who runs around on The Stray but I guess she is comforted by the fact that it's in the safe hands of Harrogate Borough Council. This is sarcasm folks.  Ruby continued to question along this line and thankfully on Wednesday morning last week HBC contacted Jonny to tell him the good news - they were acting outside their powers by trying to charge for the use of The Stray.  All future attempts at charging were to be shelved and AFF was free to continue.  To say that I was delighted was an understatement.  Not only would I be free to carry on doing the one form of exercise I enjoy, but we had taken on a hapless local authority, and won.

There are some obnoxious local councillors and none more so than Caroline Bayliss Roger De Courcey or whatever she calls herself these days, and I am led to believe she had a hand in this - in the same way she had a hand in The Turkish Baths fiasco, banning the male-only sessions and twisting the reasons for doing so.  The delicious irony of all this is that she was trying to regulate who the good people of Harrogate could and couldn't exercise with when she is not averse to a few fags apparently!

So much of what happened here epitomises what is wrong with local government - for a start, there is Harrogate Borough Council and North Yorkshire County Council dabbling in the running of Harrogate, both with big "head office" set ups and both with massive overheads which no private-sector business could absorb or justify.  Why not just have one?  Then there is the question of revenues - they clearly saw AFF as fair game to see what they could screw out of them rather than look closer to home and make some cost reductions through improving their own inefficiency.  Waste is evident in so much of what they do - waste that private-sector businesses cut out many years ago.

Anyway, as I cheesily said, this was a victory over bureaucracy for common sense - power to the people as Citizen Smith used to chant.  It's great that all the AFF members stood up for themselves and were very supportive of the "campaign" and there was support from many areas and in fairness, Andrew Jones acted very quickly once he was made aware of the situation but Ruby from The Advertiser was our ace and chased the Council for an answer - and the right answer at that!  So, all is well with the world again - until Harrogate Council move on to the next thing that they can fuck up.  And spare a thought for Matt Woods - I wonder what he thinks of Harrogate Borough Council?  He was the winning bidder for a service they weren't even legally entitled to charge for!  Happy Days.

Queue Rage

Last week I was moved to a higher state of annoyance by people in queues.  It happens regularly but this incident took the biscuit. It took place at the Tesco on Knaresborough Road where I’d been to fill up with fuel and was in a bit of a hurry to get to a 6pm appointment.  As I went inside to pay there were only 3 people in front of me including a lady who had a huge basket of shopping so to speed things up I joined the other queue which contained a woman who only had some chocolate, a loaf of bread, and some milk – easy I thought, this will be quick!  Bollocks, the other woman who had the well-stacked basket was probably home and had her tea cooked and watched News at Ten before the pathetic arse of a woman at my till had found her Tesco Clubcard.

Picture the scene, the cashier becomes available, arse woman steps forward and places her 3 items in the basket, cashier scans them, cashier says “£3.58 please”.  All good so far.  She has her purse, opens it and gets her bank card out (now this in itself is bad enough and could be the subject of a whole separate rant but I’ll let it go today) and just as she is about to pop it into the card machine the cashier then starts of the chain of events which tipped things over the edge.  “Do you have a Tesco Clubcard”?  Now, I don’t know about you, but all my cards are in my wallet so that I can get them out when I need them but oh no, arse woman had hers somewhere else. At first I thought that somewhere else was behind the clock on the mantelpiece at home but she seemed convinced she had it in her bag somewhere.  She started to search the bag, out came a bottle of water, car keys, mobile phone, a book, several pens, 2 cereal bars and another purse.  Now, bear in mind that the purchase was £3.58, how desperate for Tesco Clubcard points must this woman have been?  I’ve no idea what one Clubcard point is worth but this woman clearly thought that the points from her £3.58 transaction was going to be life-changing and she was determined to hold up a queue of people to find her card.  She took out the other purse and searched through that, no Clubcard.  She then went back into the bag and it wasn’t there.  There then begun a search of the side-pockets of the bag at which point she turned to me and said “I know it’s here somewhere”.  Now this action alone made her fair game for a slap but the fact that she laughed made me want to reach for her bag and tip the contents on the floor and pour the milk she was trying to buy all over them.  Eventually she found the Tesco Clubcard and all was well.  Apart from my blood pressure

Why can’t people have their method of payment ready while they’re in the queue?  Is it a surprise to them that once they’ve got to the check out they’re going to have to pay for the goods?  For god’s sake, it’s not rocket science is it?