What is it with hotels and their misleading and delusional descriptions of their premises? This week I went to Plymouth to visit the local depot of the company I work for and wanted to stay somewhere close. So, using Laterooms.com I booked into this place – the photos made it look good and the reviews showed 86% satisfaction. So, I booked it and off I went!
And now for the reality. The hotel’s website promises a “secluded location”. This means it is down a lane in the middle of nowhere, just past a derelict garage.
Arriving, I was pleasantly surprised - the picture is accurate enough – the building itself is lovely and built from natural slate.
However, driving into the car park, the first thing that greets you is a scrap car and a pile of junk – just the job!
So, on to reception and I’m checked in to room 11 up some stairs that creak like they are about to collapse. In the corridor on the way to the room is this:-
The table lamp on the window sill has a trailing cable which is clearly a trip hazard – but why would you want a table lamp on a window sill in a corridor?
Outside the room is a vacuum cleaner – very welcoming!
So, in I go and the first issue is that the door handle is broken although the door does lock with the key. This is a comfort as I’ve stayed in hotels in Russia where the doors don’t lock!
The room itself is a good size and has a double bed and a set of bunk beds. The green carpet is horrifically stained and some of the furniture makes Ikea shit look like Chippendale. The dressing table has a panel hanging off it and the veneer has peeled off.
However, it is the stains on the carpet that worry me – thoughts naturally turn to what are they and why are they there? There are several but the one by the light switch is the worst. I do have pictures but as there are some squeamish people around I won't post them. Think big globules of salad cream and you won't be far off. Draw your own conclusions.
In the bathroom, the toilet seat is clearly prison issue and the plumbing work is atrocious. The radiator piping has been put through some roughly cut holes in the ceiling and the shower installation is seventies style. Worst of all is all the congealed dust and fluff in the extractor fan – how hard would it have been for the cleaner to give this a quick brush with the vacuum cleaner that’s parked outside the room?
Back in the bedroom I daren’t even look inside the kettle. So, I go back and check the website to make sure I’ve got the right place. The website makes various embellishments of the truth but search as much as you like and there is no mention of any stains on the carpet, trailing extension leads to lights in the corridor and a scrap vehicle in the car park.
It is clear that the management do not inspect the rooms and consider things from the guest’s perspectives. If they do then they clearly don’t look very hard. I’ve no doubt that this place was lovely at one time but it is so far removed from being a habitable and welcoming place that to even call it a hotel is stretching the truth somewhat.
The breakfast was awful and I, yes, even I left most of it as it was bland, greasy and lukewarm. And it took ages to come considering I was the only mug in the place.
The nature of my job means I stay in hotels all over the place, both in the UK and abroad but this is one of the worst to date. It angers me that shit-holes like this can more or less put what they like on websites, most of which is clearly misleading, and seemingly get away with it. I know times are hard and that hotels have trouble filling their rooms but most of the stuff I’ve described here could be put right in less than an hour – the management simply need to look at things through the eyes of their guests. Why you would allow a scrap car in the car park is beyond me and the reception entrance was littered with cigarette ends – all things that could and should be sorted out.
So, if you were thinking of visiting this place, think again. There is a very nice bus shelter further down the road without any stains.
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